Monday, November 24, 2008

Turkey Week.


Don't know how much I'll be able to hop on here, as our Turkey week is rather stuffed. Haha... stuffed. ;-) So I wanted to go ahead and wish you all a fabulous Thanksgiving! I am constantly reminded of how very blessed I am and how much I have to be thankful for... the first thing I usually spit out of my mouth in prayer (almost without thinking) is "thank you for this day." Because, truly, no tomorrows are guaranteed. I haven't been very bloggy this last week other than to obsess over my vampire boyfriend, Edward, but truthfully I haven't really felt up to it...

A little over a week ago, a dear friend of mine lost her mother to a long, long battle with ovarian cancer. We all knew it was coming, but it just broke my heart. And I just could not stop crying Saturday morning after finding out she was gone. I called my mom from the Costco parking lot and just cried. I just can't imagine what my dear friend is going through. The same day I found out our small group leaders lost their IVF baby at 5 weeks. And my heart broke a little more. So I was just in a very weird place that day... and worst of all we had a party to go to that afternoon and I'm just not good at faking it. I sure didn't sit in a corner and pout, but I was probably a little more subdued than normal. And really, with all that in my head, I haven't known WHAT to write on here lately. Somehow all my superficial topics seem so stupid when I see real life happening around me. So while I haven't been able to put much into words, some others did it for me.

First, a fellow Georgia peach that I stumbled on recently at Chapters wrote this amazing post on infertility. It really spoke to me and totally echoed how I feel in so many ways, yet rarely share. I've gotten to a point where I really struggle being around kids and I truly hate that. I have a hard time getting excited for my pregnant friends. And I hate that. I look for excuses to get out of kids' birthday parties and baby showers because I get so tired of the whole thing. And I hate that. I feel like *I* am the elephant in the room with this big-ass sign across my forehead that says, "Infertile. Watch your step." And it's this horrible catch 22 as well... I don't EVER want my friends to feel as though they have to tip-toe around me or be discouraged from sharing news with me, but at the same time I'm hurt when there's no consideration taken. I'm not sure that makes any sense. None of it makes sense, but we keep going. I know God has a plan for us, I just wish he'd let us in on it sometimes. It's been 3 years this month since we started trying.

And then the most amazing writing comes from my friend, Jill. I know y'all don't know her, but she has opened up on her blog about losing her mother by looking back on that final week with her mom and recounting each day. It's a truly beautiful "story" and I hope you'll read it. Start with this entry and then work your way up. Jill is unbelievable and my heart is so heavy for her and her family right now.

So yes, that's what my mind has been juggling lately and I suppose that's why I've been a little shy from blogworld. Didn't mean for this to turn into a Debbie Downer post - just letting y'all know where my head's at. But no worries... I'll be back at it soon enough. So before I part, I shall do the obligatory things I am thankful for this Thanksgiving!! But not out of obligation, because my heart is certainly full of thanks. We are more than blessed...

1. I am so thankful for my wonderful husband. I can't imagine going through life with anyone else. We are totally opposite in a lot of ways, but I think that's what makes us click. Sure, he can piss me off like no one else (and I him), but we both just know this thing is forever and that's that. It's really that simple.

2. This may be a weird one, but I've recently discovered how thankful we should be for having financially responsible parents - both the hub and me. We may make our own financial messes, but I learned lately that some of my friends are also having to take care of their parents' messes. Something I never even considered! So I'm very thankful for the examples my parents have been for me and the smart decisions that I've witnessed them making. Maybe that's a selfish thank you (as in, Thank God I'm not dealing with their mess too!)... but it's still a really big praise on my prayer list, for sure.

3. So naturally, I'm thankful for my amazing parents. They celebrated 40 years of marriage earlier this month. I can never fully express how thankful I am for all they've done for me and the hub. Can't even put it into words...

4. I'm thankful for my 3 crazy doggies. They keep us laughing everyday. What is life without doggies? I just don't know. They are truly God's love and joy in animal form. What human can love that unconditionally?

5. I'm thankful for Dave Ramsey. These are just getting weirder and weirder, aren't they? No but really - I do mention him in my prayers. Not his program, but him. I think it's awesome to see someone truly living out God's purpose. He has helped SO many people, including us. It's so funny... next time I go to a bridal shower or wedding and am asked to give "marriage advice" or "wishes" for the bride and groom, I know just what to say: Get on Dave Ramsey's plan and you're golden! His plan is nothing short of common sense, but he presents it in a way like no other. It's a ministry and he's absolutely gifted.

6. I'm thankful for my wonderful girlfriends. They lift me up, they laugh with me, they get me through each day. And they're just plain FUN! Each one is totally different and I'm truly blessed to have each of them in my life.

7. Lastly, I'm thankful for God's amazing love... that he gave us his son to pay our debt for us so that we can all be reconciled to him. Most days I forget how crazy awesome that is, but then something will hit me and I'm just like... wow. Oh how he loves us so.

So gobble, gobble! Go stuff yourselves, be merry, and give thanks! :-) Be safe in your travels and give all your loved ones a hug (even the weird ones)...

18 comments:

amy (metz) walker said...

Whoa, so SO many things I want to respond to on this post...

1. cute cartoon. Made me laugh.

2. I'm sorry for your friend's loss and the couple that lost their baby at 5 weeks. Both are devastating to those involved. Losing my grandfather has definitely given me a deeper burden for those who are grieving around me!

3. Our dogs have been our kids...and I agree with every word you said about it being like God's unconditional love. I have thought that so many times!

4. Dave Ramsey = us, too! It's completely changed the way we do everything financially!

5. Last, and most importantly, I will be praying for you, friend!

BroncoMom said...

Betty,

Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers this week.

Bronco Mom

BroncoMom said...

Betty,

Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers this week.

Bronco Mom

Candice said...

Wow, you sure have been going through a lot. I'm so glad to see that you are remaining positive, I know it's hard. I loved this post though, it's so true that we all have so much to be thankful for. Thanks for sharing yours. Happy Thanksgiving and feel better soon :)

Preppy Pink Crocodile said...

Love you!! Sending you bloggy hugs!!

Gracie Beth said...

I am giving you a blog hug right now!

maggi said...

I completely understand the kids and pregnant friends thing. After 3 years of trying, tests and finally getting the results and still not pregnant...i sometimes HATE being around kids and pregnant friends.
But I am THANKFUL for everything in my life and I will continue my prayers for you and your hubby!
Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Prissy Southern Prep said...

What a great post. It is not "debbie downer". This post is real life. It sounds like you and your loved ones have had a hard time lately, and y'all will certainly be in my prayers.

Preppy 101 said...

I was just in Atlanta with my PD before and after our trip to NYC. Maybe we can meet sometime when I am there. I worked with a girl who was having a hard time getting pregnant and I remember how hurtful showers, pregnant friends, etc. were to her. She finally did get pregnant, so you are right. God has a plan for you. I am so sorry you are going through this.

I also have a friend who just lost her mom to cancer. How I hurt for her because it is just a hard road to travel. My mom passed away in 2002, so I understand.

Is your "small group" that you speak of Buckhead Church by any chance. My AS and BDiL went there until they moved to NYC and my PD goes there now and loves it! They all spoke about their 'small groups'.

My AS and BDiL are doing the Dave Ramsey envelope thing. I need to try it...

Your post was precious. You are a kind, preicous person! I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

Buford Betty said...

Preppy 101 - Yep, we go to Buckhead Church! Been there since it was in an old grocery store. We love it! We've made some amazing friends through our small groups. :-)

A Belle and her Beau said...

a really, really good post! I have actually been wondering where you have been the past week ... you were one of the first blogs I started reading (long before I started my own blog) and I always look forward to seeing what you have to say! I am so glad that you linked to Jill's blog - although I don't know her personally, her mother was originally from LaGrange (where I live and have grown up) and she still has some family there. Her family will def. be in my prayers. I hope that you and your hubby have a blessed Thanksgiving weekend!

xoxo~

Belle-ah said...

Hey, girl! Your post wasn't a downer post!!!! I wish I could just give you hug and let you know that your feelings (as conflicting as they may sound when you write them) are something so many understand and have experienced. You are sweet to actually share it and I admire your transparency in the area of infertility.

Thanks for sharing and I appreciated this post so much!!!!

Lauren said...

I am so sorry to hear about your friends.

I hope you have a Happy Thanksgiving!

thepreppyprincess said...

Oh Miss Betty, what a fabulous post....it made our morning ever-so-much nicer. Thank you for sharing the sadness with the gratitude, and Happy Thanksgiving.

Gobble-gobble,
tp

Jillian, Inc said...

Happy Thanksgiving to you. Hope you have a wonderful weekend.

d.a.r. said...

I just found your blog through Amy at Chapters--and I love it! Hope you don't mind me reading :)

Just wanted to say that, after you, I may be Dave Ramsey's biggest fan. Seriously I love him and he has changed my life and the way my husband and I look at money! I am so glad I'm not alone in this!

Molly said...

I am sorry you are going through a tough time right now, I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better, but I know there isn't. Sometimes just knowing you are in others prayers can help, so you will be in mine.

Jill said...

Oh girl, this is SO touching. Thank you for this precious post and for your sweet heart and has carried this burden with me...I am thankful for YOU...