Thursday, January 22, 2009

Reader Question: What happened to that social life?!

Happy Thursday, all! Hope your weeks are going well. We've already gotten really busy at work with tax season... so I'm pretty much chained to my desk chair till mid-April. Though I'll still manage to steal a minute or two to hop on here and keep up with y'all - promise! Anyway, a couple of things... big news on the car front! We got a second car this week!!! And let me tell you, it was meant to be. The hub answered a craigslist ad for a 2000 Lexus this past weekend. (Don't ask me what model... I don't really speak Lexus, but I think it's just the glorified Toyota Camry version.) The guy selling it lived very close by, but the hub didn't hear back from him that day. The price was a little more than our budget, but we figured it was worth a look - and you never know, right? Maybe we could talk him down on price some. Well, we figured someone else snagged it, but the seller actually contacted the hub the next day. That same day, I relisted our Restoration Hardware chest on craigslist (which had been on there for months with not much interest). That very day, the hub got a response from a very excited buyer for the chest. They wanted it, at our asking price, and they wanted it now! Sweeeet! So long story short, the hub got the new car for $3,800 (a killer deal, by the way - it was listed at over $4,200 and is worth even more) and we were able to snag it easily since we sold that last piece of furniture. The timing was beautiful.

But that's not the best part... the couple that came Tuesday night to pick up the chest was SO great. While the boys moved the big ass chest out, the wife and I got to talking about kids, which quickly turned into a conversation about infertility. She had a great story of her own... she and her husband tried for years and years to get pregnant and they finally adopted a baby girl. Her doctors told her she'd never ever get pregnant. Eighteen months after adopting... she's pregnant. Even at delivery, her doctor told her she shouldn't be having this baby - it just wasn't physically possible. She set him straight and said, "God can do anything." Her kids are now 18 and 20. And I have to say she was one of the sweetest most understanding women I've talked to about all this. She knew my pain and she knew it well - she still teared up thinking about it, even 20 years later. I've often wondered if you eventually forget that pain and longing once you finally get there, but I guess you never do. Maybe you're not supposed to... so you can comfort others in their own journey. She paid me for the chest and gave me $50 more than our asking price, but she wouldn't let me give her any change. And she told me, "not only do I have a great new piece of furniture, I have someone new to pray for!" And we totally hugged when she and her husband left... hahahaha... isn't that crazy?!

Yes, so NEW car and our last piece of furniture we had up for sale is gone! Woo hoo! And while we're glad to have two cars again, both the hub and I kinda missed carpooling yesterday. He called me as soon as he got to work and told me it was awfully quiet in the car. So we decided we'll still carpool a couple of days a week. No reason not to... saves gas and whatnot! Ahhh and the second thing... I got a great comment from Jenny yesterday on a previous post with a fabulous question...


Betty,

Just found your blog. Love that you're following DR with success. Had to ask though- how is it impacting your social life? It looks like you were kinda big spenders before. How have you helped your friends adjust to your new (smaller?) entertainment and dining out budgets? My DH and I struggle with getting together with our freinds because everyone always wants to go out and those nights out (restaurants, theater, bars) get expensive FAST.

Any advice?

Jenny


Awesome question, Jenny - and something I haven't really mentioned on here! Yes, I'd have to say going hardcore on Dave's plan initially cramped our style a bit. For us though, it was a rather gradual process. We had already started to really cut back before we were officially on a budget and whatnot, so it wasn't as if our entire social life suddenly came to a screeching hault. But yes, we certainly used to eat out a lot, go to concerts and shows, and shop without thinking twice about it. And I can definitely remember some recent occasions when we found some "convenient excuses" to get out of going out to dinner with friends, etc where we knew it just wasn't in the budget. But we're very open to our close friends about what we're doing. They all know our situation and actually, a lot of our friends are on the Dave train too. Or at least budget-conscious if nothing else. So I have to say for us, it really hasn't been too big of an adjustment. Instead of going out to some swanky restaurant for dinner, we've been getting together with other couples and friends at each other's homes. A few weeks ago we went over to visit some friends who recently got married. They cooked dinner, we brought the wine, and we played board games. It was seriously tons of fun!

And really all my girlfriends know I'm a budget nut now. The hub and I really don't go out to eat at all - it's rare if we do. But I'll occasionally meet some girlfriends for dinner out, and we'll always pick cheap eats. None of us has any problem saying, I'm broke - let's eat on the cheap! And two of my best girls, Lucky and kuntry bride, and I have (don't laugh) slumber parties. Yep, slumber parties. In fact we just set the date for our next one this week. We take turns "hosting" and we just gather at one of our homes, get in our jammies, cook a fun dinner, watch girly movies and hang out.

So I guess the answer is, let your friends know where you stand, and get a little creative with more budget-friendly ways to get together. It's definitely tough to put up a hand and say, no I can't do that - it's not in the budget... but it absolutely gets easier, and a lot of times I think you'll find that when you start making more frugal plans, your friends just might wise up and follow suit. I hope that helps a little! Great question!

Alright girls... I gotta dry my hair and get going. Long day ahead... Hope y'all have a wonderful day. Don't forget to keep praying for sweet Harper!!! Things are looking good, but she still needs your prayers! Kelly has lots of great pics up, so go see check it out! XOXOXO!

18 comments:

Jill said...

Great post!! Great answer to that question..and I'm having a slumber party with my best girlfriends from college this weekend. Same thing! We have literally NO plans to go out, because we're all in the same boat of saving $$. I think it'll be the most fun weekend we've had!

Preppy 101 said...

Congrats on selling the furniture and getting the car!! Great! And -- on finding someone who really understands your feelings! FYI: the baby I keep 2 days a week is the product of a couple who had a really tough time getting pregnant. I mean it took forever, and I don't understand all the things that they did, but I do know it happened. We prayed a lot for them and they have the baby boy I keep and she is pregnant again. I'll add you to my prayer list.

Mrs.Preppy said...

When we did DR, it was with a huge group of people from our church. We see them on a pretty regular basis (and they are all our age) so that has made the social impant of DR easeier, for us. Nobody wants to be to odd man out -- the one that is actually in major debt and cannot afford their lifestyle.

An iMperfect wIfe said...

Thanks for the response ;)

I think I'll stick around. It's great to see other budget-minded girls on the web!

Jenny

Monogrammed Teacher said...

What a powerful God we have to put those furniture people in your life. Awesome!

Melissa said...

I love the new car/ sold chest story! What perfect timing! I'm also glad you got to make a new friend and talk about stuff with someone who has been there! I'm sure that helped!

Gracie Beth said...

I love reading about your finance stuff, because I plan on living the debt-free lifestyle after I graduate. My friends all think I am a freak because I am in college and do not have a credit card!

Elizabeth said...

That is so exciting - a new car, sold a piece of furniture, met a sweet lady that you can relate to AND she is praying for you! Sounds like God's work to me. :) We also love nights in with friends. Playing board games and cooking dinner together can be just as much fun, if not more, than a night out on the town.

Preppy Pink Crocodile said...

Um...I think you are turning into Hub! I love that story and the fact that she is praying for you after sharing stories. But hugging her tells me that Hub has finally rubbed off on you! Hehehe!

Can I come to a slumber party? Sounds so fun!

E.B. in Tennessee said...

Those are good tips for socializing on a budget. You definitely don't have to go out and spend money to have a great time! I think I would prefer staying in and cooking for friends and watching a DVD than going out to eat and to the movies.

Well I Do Declare said...

Sounds like everything really fell into place on that one! Must have been such a nice feeling. Let us know how y'all are liking the new car :)

Sue said...

Awesome! Selling and buying on the same day! It was meant to be and that woman connecting with you is great. The more prayers the better!

Jillian, Inc said...

Great news about craigslist. I never seem to have much luck selling, but I'm glad you do!

Molly said...

Yay, Great news!! The chest pickup story got me teary eyed! Great idea about slumber parties!! I use to do one around Christmas time with my closest friends(4 of us) but I guess this being the first year of Dan and I living together, its harder. Thanks for still making time when you are so busy! I know its hard!

E.B. in Tennessee said...

Hello again,
I have a question for you on my blog...I wanna know what's on your playlist! :)

Bella said...

Happy Thursday, BB! Great post and I am thrilled that y'all got such a steal on the car...sounds perfect.

You encouraged me today with the budgeting as I seem to be kind of "getting away" from it the last few days...I need to jump back on that train!!!

Have a great day!!!

Etiquettely Correct said...

I love selling stuff on craigslist. We had some pretty hideous furniture and it sold really quickly on craigslist.

Politics to Peaches said...

hey there! I'm not sure if I've ever commented on your blog before but I read it pretty often and enjoy it. Anyway, my mom's dr told her she could never have children and to think about adoption. But she's stubborn and didn't listen and she ended up having 2 daughters. So, don't listen to the drs too much - just stay positive and have faith ;)