Saturday, March 14, 2009

It's Britney, bitch.

That's what you had written across your chest on your homemade baby-T at the Britney concert if you were cool. No, actually, those were the girls trying to be cool. The really kick-ass girls were wearing those blossomy long tunic-like tops as dresses... Oh geez... I gotta find a picture for you to apprecitate this.... hold on.......

Damn. OK you know it's bad when you look on Bebe's site and all those dresses are "too tasteful." Hold on... Alright seriously, where the hell do these girls find these dresses? Hoes 'R Us? [You should know that I googled the correct pluralization of *ho* and found no clear answer.] OK, I resorted back to Bebe because this is the closest thing I could find...


Now this is the concept, but picture it much, MUCH tighter and significantly shorter. Because really, in the appropriate setting, I think this model is pretty darn cute (minus the weird posing). But pretend this chick tried on 4 sizes smaller and she put her boobs in some kind of contraption that lifted them up to where they're almost touching her chin (I believe that's called surgery). Combine that with 5 inch stilettos and you have the standard uniform for the 20-something's at the concert. And this was whether you were a size 2 or 22.... didn't matter. No shame, I tell you... no shame. Lucky turned to me and said, "Oh damn... where are Stacy and Clinton when you need them?!"

Now there were some hot girls there for sure... I mean if you were a single dude, you should've choked up the money for a Britney ticket. Because chicks in tight dresses + alcohol + the fact that half of Britney's songs are about gettin' it on = a high probability of a very good night for you. Oh, but if you were really cool, you were fully covered in J. Crew cords, a denim jacket and ballet flats. Oh wait... I mean if you're *old* like me. Yeah, Lucky had on a blazer and jeans, and kuntry bride had on jeans and a sweater with a winter coat and scarf. We totally looked like chaperones. I've never felt closer to 40 in my life... At one point when we were walking down the street towards the arena, a couple of club promoter people tried to get our attention... "Hey girls, where are you going after the show?" Lucky answers, "um... we're going home," as if, wasn't that the obvious answer? It's a Thursday night for crying out loud. I was like "yeah, we're going to bed." I mean the concert alone was putting me way past my bedtime here and I knew I'd be feeling it after lunch on Friday. The club people found this pretty funny. Now I'm really feeling old. But I'm starting to put together why these girls are dressed like ho-bags.... these young people go out after concert! Ohhhh....

I swear I think I was always like 10 years ahead of my true age... I mean I went out and had my fun in college and all that, but not to the degree that some of these girls do. And I certainly was clothed. I never ever felt the need or desire to put my body on display. It'll get you attention, sure, but certainly not the kind of attention I want. Guess it just depends on what you're after... but honestly girls... yes, ho-bags, I'm speaking to you... you're a dime a dozen. If you're after a random hook-up or perhaps just attention, then good for you -- mission accomplished. But if you're seriously trying to meet someone (a real someone), put some damn clothes on. Trust me, there is nothing sexier to a guy (I'm speaking of real guys here - not someone looking for a one-night-stand), than a cute, confident girl in a kick-ass pair of jeans. If you really want to be different and stand out in a bar or club, that's how you do it.

Geez, these hussies got me off on a tangent! OK back to Britney! Yes, so the people-watching alone was highly entertaining, but the show was phenomenal! My favorite little misfit did not disappoint! The stage was set up in the center of the arena.... I LOVE when artists do this because you have a good shot of the stage from any angle. I've seen several shows like this... Prince, Justin Timberlake... and now Brit! I absolutely love it. The Pussycat Dolls opened up the show. They were great - they did all their hit songs. That Nicole chick can really belt it - she was great. Kuntry bride leaned over to me and was like, "um... what do the other 4 girls do? Do they even sing?" Hahaha.... yeah a little bit, but they mostly just do back-up for Nicole and work a stripper pole. Apparently they were also supposed to have some back-up dancers, but they backed out at the last minute. Who does that? Whatever. OK I realize this pic is tee-tiny, but that's Nicole on the far right...




They were on stage for a good half hour or so... then they got the stage ready for Britney... this is a lousy pic, but here's our view of the stage before she came on...



One of the best parts was Perez Hilton's introduction!! I totally loved it... he cracks me up. I found a taping of it from the Atlanta show on you tube... it could very well get yanked, so have a look while you can. It's not the best video, but you can get a feel for the screaming girls and hear most of what he had to say....




That screen was like a cylinder that went all around the center stage (or "ring"). Don't know if you can really catch that from that film, but it showed video from every side. I must admit my heart was totally thumping with anticipation at this point... omg I love her! Hahahhaha....

She opened with "Circus" of course, and then did number after number, costume change after costume change... her shows are always very theatrical and full of props and dancers and pyrotechnics and whatnot... and yes, she does lip synch for 90% of the show - she always has. So if that turns you off, then I guess her show's not for you... but she's running all over the place, dancing like mad, being thrown and tossed around, changing costumes every 30 seconds... I mean it's not possible to have any kind of a voice with all that going on. It's really more about the show. And hello, we all know she doesn't have the most incredible voice ever - she's more about the show. But y'all, it's a damn good show. The costume changes alone are totally entertaining. I snagged some photos off photobucket so y'all could see a few of them. After Perez's intro, she dropped down to the center of the stage in this...



As is par for the course with Britney, lots of corsets and hooker boots (remember that bit about not bringing your 12-year old daughter?)...





She and her dancers all donned this kind of Indian look for "Me Against the Music." Pretty cool mix on that song...


This was kuntry bride's personal fave...




This is her during the one song where she actually did sing... "Everytime" - her song to JT (admittedly or not). You think he still boo hoo's over her? I'm thinking no.




And here was her final look of the night...



Me likey. Now I realize Britney's wearing even less clothing than the girls I dogged on mere paragraphs ago, but hello.... she's on stage. There's a TOTAL difference. And I guess this just gets lost in translation to so many... hmm.... But here's the difference... if I was on stage and I had a rockin' body and I was performing the kind of stuff Britney does... hell YEAH, I'd be sportin' the corsets and hooker boots! But you wouldn't catch me dead in that on the street. They're costumes... not streetwear.

Oh and I must share these photos from Lucky's friend who was right down front. They're not good pics - you can't really even see Brit's face (I think her camera setting must've been on a really slow speed or something), but you can appreciate how dang close they were!





Yep, those are boobie tassles. And here's one stage shot I found...



So yes, overall - a fabulous show! But mommas, be warned... like I said before, this is not one for the pre-teens. There's a LOT of sexual moves, videos, lyrics... you name it. Lots of S&M references... There was this video montage of a lot of Britney's old music videos and photos... totally awesome, but also not something I'd want my 12 year-old daughter to see. I mean if you listened to any of her last few albums for 5 minutes, you'd realize her concerts are probably not kid-friendly. So it always surprises me when I see moms there with their daughters who are in shock over what they're seeing. Geez moms, do a little research! This ain't the same ole Britney from the Mickey Mouse Club!

As for Britney herself... I can safely say that the girl is back! She put on an awesome show, and she looks amazing. I can now give her the thumbs up on the hot pants and corsets. She's back in tip top shape. I mean, how can you not be after rehearsing for that show? Wow. She must burn 5,000 calories each night. But no really, she's looking good. I don't think she'll ever be back to the shape she debuted at the 2000 VMA's...



I remember when she tore off that black suit... I was like, holy hell, Britney! Girl's been working OUT! But y'all, she's popped out two kids now and she's approaching (gasp!) 30. So I've got to hand it to her -- the girl looks awesome. Way to go, Brit! Momma's so proud of her favorite trashy little pop princess!

So if it isn't obvious, I give the Circus tour a totally enthusiastic two-thumbs-up. And I have to give special thanks to kuntry bride and Lucky for tagging along. They are not crazy fools for Britney like I am... and would probably never dream of going to see her in concert, but for going along with me. They both were conspiring with the hub the day before to find us all tickets. What a wonderful hub and fabulous girlfriends I have! They made my Britney dreams come true!!!

Alright girls... glad I finally got my Britney post up. I've been so busy but I had to do her justice. Now I've got to run and get dressed and get to work. Ew... But tonight is date night! Woo hoo! Our church has put together these awesome suggestions for date nights and we're going to try it out tonight. Should be fun! Hope y'all have fabu weekends... back later!

13 comments:

QueenBeeSwain said...

hysterical about those girls' shirts. that is what I say when I mock try to make an entrance :)

happy saturday!

kHm

Mrs. Newlywed said...

You are making me even MORE excited to see her in April!

She looks AMAZING!

Julie Tiemann said...

So glad to read your review! It was a super fun show for sure. And I TOTALLY hear you on the feeling old thing. My sister and I just sat back and trash-talked all the hussies around us. ;) They were really ticking me off during the show though - they got so trashed before the show even started that our entire row filed by us one by one throughout the concert, heading to either fill 'er up again or pee. Like, every song. I was so bitter.
-Jill's friend Julie :)

Melissa said...

Thanks for the info on the concert!

I'm a 20-something (24 to be exact) and I do not understand why girls dress that way! I was always more on the conservative side. The worst I ever did was wear a short skirt, and it was tame and long compared to what you see today! I never saw the point in dressing trampy!

Mrs. Potts said...

It sounds like you had a fantastic time!!
I had a friend who used to say that, "Just because they make it in your size doesn't mean you can wear it!" Sounds like it totally applies to some of the girls you saw at the concert!

The Pink Owl said...

Sounds like a great concert! I really wanted to go, but had to work that night. So glad Britney's back!

Sherrie said...

Love your recap and comments!

Lucky in Love said...

Looks like you had a really great time! Thanks for the update :) Have fun tonight!

NatalieDeltaGam said...

""Oh damn... where are Stacy and Clinton when you need them?!""
i LOVE that! priceless.

Jill said...

Hilarious. Loved your write up - you need to get hired by a newspaper or magazine because this is the real deal review!!! So glad you went!!

Molly said...

Great post!! Thank you for sharing!! Love the pics! Too funny about the girls' attire, I too have the clothing taste and mentality of someone much older so I don't get it either!

Kappa Prep said...

I am SO jealous you have seen her in concert!

Solar Powered said...

I love it! Love this post and wish I would have gone so bad...crack me up about what those girls wear and so young! guess what girls "you are NOT on stage".