Saturday, May 30, 2009

Up eating cereal at 4:45am? That'd be me.

That's right. I woke up around 4am with that awful empty stomach rumble. I've never been able to fall asleep on an empty stomach, so I knew I wouldn't be able to fall back into a much wanted deep snooze this morning. So here I am, on the 'puter, a good hour or so before the sun will join me.

So first of all, WOW... thank you SO much for all the awesome comments on my last post. You ladies are amazing and so very uplifting! I can't even begin to tell you how much your prayers have meant to me. I've been thanking God daily for all my fabulous prayer warriors out there!

Today we're 4 weeks, 2 days... so yes, VERY early on - which means I'm just praying like crazy! We took a pregnancy test on Thursday morning, which was the first "safe" day to take one after having the HCG trigger shot. Anytime before that, we were in danger of a getting a false positive. As soon as my alarm went off that morning, I took my temperature. Flo was due to arrive any day, so I knew that morning's temp would be rather telling. And sure enough, it had dropped significantly (which is a sign that Flo just pulled into the neighborhood and is rounding the corner). So after seeing that, I was fully prepared to get a negative pregnancy test. But at 5am on Thursday, May 28, 2009, we saw this...


So that's what two lines look like... wow. Sure haven't seen that before. Actually I couldn't even tell you the last time we took a pregnancy test. Way early on when we started trying, I'd take them before ever missing a period, but after a while I just stopped testing altogether unless I had a reason (like being several days late - which is odd for me). Seeing negative after negative after negative REALLY took a toll on me. I was even dreading testing this month, but knew we had to this time. I had to face reality. And seeing two lines is NOT the reality we're used to!

The hub called my RE a little later with the news and he was told that if I could get in there by 11:45am for a blood test, they could get me same day results. Two seconds after he calls to tell me this, I'm in my car (safely) racing to Sandy Springs. I got there at about 10:30am. The hub called back at 2pm (I tried too but he has this way of getting through and getting answers whereas I just get voicemail). And sure enough, it was positive!

It's weird... going from *wondering* (and wishing, hoping, thinking, praying) to *KNOWING* in like a matter of hours is pretty surreal. I still don't think it's hit us yet. I've made several people cry, but I've yet to cry. We've definitely laughed a lot. But I think we're just in shock right now.

When I was checking out at the doctor's office, they were like, "OK well this isn't infertility anymore, it's pregnancy, so it should be covered." After being in and out of that office for the past 2 1/2 years, I gotta tell ya... that sounded good. And weird!!!

Thursday night we told my parents. I've had to kind of let go of having that "moment" of true surprise when breaking the news to my mom and dad. That was hard for me... for a long time, every month I thought there was a chance, I'd look at the calendar and figure out when and how we'd tell my parents. I'd come up with some fabulously creative way to do it. There are so few real surprises in life and I really wanted to make a BIG deal of it. But obviously, since they know every detail of what we're doing at the doctor's office, they knew an answer was coming at he end of this particular month either way. But, my mom didn't realize it's be quite so soon. Needless to say, she was blown away. She completely lost her appetite at dinner and kept saying, "are they SURE?!"

That night we started giving the good word to others... we called the hub's parents and his sister. And we've also told our friends that knew what we were doing. We're pretty open about it (our infertility that is), so anyone close to us knows what we're up to. Every young married couple gets nagged about starting a family, but once you tell people your girly parts are messed up, they shut up. So yeah, a lot of the people around us know. And I realize it's WAY early and anything can happen - trust me. If we were a "normal" pregnant couple, we'd probably stay mum till a good 10 weeks or so. Well, I say that, but the hub can't keep a freaking secret so that's probably not true. It's actually quite endearing... he just gets so excited about stuff and can't contain himself. So a lot of close friends know, but we're not "out" in general yet. I'm definitely keeping it on the DL at work till I'm forced to out myself. And I'm not posting ultrasound photos and all that shit on facebook, etc. So it's not a secret, but it's also not "public" knowledge, per se.

So next steps? I've got a 7am (yep, 7am) appointment Monday morning for some more bloodwork to check my hormone levels. I'll be in and out of the doctor's office a good bit the next couple of weeks doing just that. And then at 6 weeks (a couple of weeks from now) we'll have our first ultrasound. I think I will feel a lot more at ease after that because we should be able to see the heartbeat at that point... so it's gonna be a long two weeks waiting for that appointment! The good thing about being prego-challenged is that I get LOTS of attention up front. Because I'm at a higher risk for miscarriage than most, my doctor will be watching me like a hawk for the first trimester before handing me over to my OB/GYN.

So right now I'm just praying like crazy that this little tot will stick like glue. It's hard though... one minute I'm like oh yeah, I have absolute faith in this baby. And the next I'm googling miscarriage rates. But I'm not going to live in fear. Fear accomplishes nothing... neither does worrying. I can only control what I can control... making sure I take all my meds, eating right, not eating things I shouldn't... the rest is not up to me. I really do have tremendous faith in this kid and I'm praying not just for this baby, but for my faith to be renewed everyday. My friend Jill told me it's really about "celebrating each step." And wow, have we made a HUGE step. A freaking high jump hurdle, rather. So no matter what happens, we're so grateful to be where we are right now.

Again, thanks so much to all of you bloggy pals who have been in the passenger seat along with me on this journey. It has been quite a ride so far and your support means more to me than I can ever express in words. Prayer is so incredibly powerful... I can't even tell you how many friends told me, when I shared our news, that they had just prayed for us the previous night and that we were on their hearts. It's truly amazing. And I'm telling everyone to switch gears and ramp up the prayers now for Buford Baby to stick, stick, stick! So that's my big top-of-the-list prayer request, but really, I'm just incredibly thankful. We obviously didn't think we'd be here this soon. We're just trying to take it all in... one day at a time!

I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him.
-I Samuel 1:27

28 comments:

Jill said...

Love this. You word all the emotions so beautifully. The whole telling your parents thing..man, I was the same way. I'd make plan after plan of how we'd tell them. By the time it happened, I shot my Dad an E-mail. HA! So much for the big moment I had dreamed of!! =)

And I LOVE that you are up eating at 5am - that's a big "welcome to pregnancy" thing!! SO fun!!!

BroncoMom said...

You can always count on the prayers!

Gracie Beth said...

I am still praying for you! I am also super excited and happy for you!

Mrs. Newlywed said...

AHHHH CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!

LSU Melanie said...

tears of pure joy for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Congratulations I am so happy for ya'll!!!

Marden Family said...

CONGRATULATIONS!!! Enjoy every minute and don't spend another second online- all it will do is put bad thoughts into your head :) Best best of luck, I will definitely be following along in your journey :)

Sarah said...

oh my gosh, congratulations!! I'm so excited for you!!! I'll definitely being saying some prayers for you!!! Keep us posted! : )

Preppy 101 said...

Congratulations to you both!! This is so encouraging to others who are struggling. I am gonna share your blog with my niece who is having a difficult time of it - and has been for over a year. She and her husband have great faith, but it is still difficult as you well know. This will so encourage her.

The power of prayer is immeasurable. I make a list of bloggers who desire prayer and support. I will continue to keep you on there!

Yay for you!
xoxo

cancersucks said...

Thanks for sharing the FABULOUS news!! I will be praying for a healthy pregnancy and baby for you. You deserve all the best! You really do!

Poolside with the Girls said...

Sending good thoughts & prayers your way. Just found your blog yesterday. Glad I did!

Jesslee said...

Congratulations! I'm so happy for you Buford Betty! From reading your blog forever, I know what a long and hard journey this has been for you. Only good thoughts your way and please don't even have the thought of miscarriage in your pretty little head. We're here for you and little Buford Baby is going to STICK!

Bombtastic Belle said...

Congrats! I'll keep you in my prayers that all goes well! :)

The Robbins said...

I pulled up your blog this morning and was thrilled to see your post from Friday. I have to come out of the woodwork (i.e. delurk) to officially congratulate your and your husband. I wanted to let you know that you have been in my prayers and I will continue to keep you and your little one in my prayers as he/she continues to grow.

I am also named Amanda and stumbled upon your blog somehow, but have continued to check your blog because 1.) I love your style 2.) You always have great recomendations and 3.) We have so much in common (besides being named Amanda :) I also wanted to say thank you for blogging about Dave Ramsey. My husband and I are working on baby step #2 and we are knocking it out.

When I was pregnant with my son I used Javis Davis for his nursery and when they sent out the e-mail about being a hometown consultant, I seriously thought about filling out an application. Then it was so funny when you started make room for style.

Sorry for rambling in this comment. My background is that I went to UGA, I work in the non-profit field and I live in Atlanta with my husband and son and I just wanted to delurk to say "hi" and "congratulations" to you.

Many blessing to you!
Amanda

Susan D. said...

Stay away from Google. My husband actually outed my love of googling symptoms to my Dr. who told me to stay away. Wishing you the best of luck and sending you lots of prayers!

Scarlet O'Kara said...

YEAH!!!

NatalieDeltaGam said...

mary margaret is getting baptized tomorrow morning (she's almost 5 months). i had a little bracelet engraved with her name and "1 Sam 1:27" on it. i prayed and prayed for her. went over a year trying. got on clomid. i only have 1/2 of an ovary (not 1.5...just 1/2) and we were told it would be hard and may not be possible to have kids.
and when i saw those 2 lines i was happy, but anxious. had my hcg #s checked every 2 days and they doubled and we felt good, then we saw "it" at 6wks, 5 days and felt better. then at 8 wks, 6 days we heard the heartbeat and it became real. we were actually going to be parents!
i totally know what you're going through. it's such a surreal time for you now. i'm sending so many prayers your way. :-)
(oh, and it's great being "high risk"...i got over THIRTY ultrasounds during my pregnancy and it made me feel so connected to mary margaret before she got here!)

The Pink Owl said...

Just wanted to congratulate you on the totally awesome news!! I will certainly be praying for you and the little tot!

Sasha said...

So excited for you! How wonderful!

L said...

Congratulations!!! I've been quietly following your blog, and wanted to officially "delurk" to tell you how happy I am for you both! Thanks for everything you share about your experiences. You and Baby B. will continue to be in my prayers.

Jillian, Inc said...

Again, congrats! So excited for you two and will be keeping you in my prayers. And... for some reason cereal always tasted SO GOOD to me when I was pregnant. I used to eat a big bowl before I went to sleep at night to avoid waking up starving = nauseous issue. There is hungry, and then there is pregnant hungry, which just cannot be put into wordss

The Pink Putter said...

I am so happy for you! You and Little BB will be in my prayers. My husband and I have struggled with infertility for years, and you have given me new hope.

LuLu Lake said...

OMG! Congratulations! I am so excited for you! You and your family are in my prayers!

Julia said...

Great post! I will be praying for you! I know all to well how you're feeling! I was in your shoes almost a year ago this time, and for those 2 weeks that I had to wait, I took about 12 pregnancy tests just to be sure I still had 2 lines!

Hollie and Janie said...

congratulations! i'm so happy for you. you have been so brave to share your life with all of us! i bet you are just tickled pink or blue!! yayyyy!!!!!!
hollie

The Browns said...

Congrats! I was browsing the praise blog & saw you on there. I was on the prayer blog too & we are now 10 weeks pregnant after trying for 2 1/2 years. I was in shock seeing 2 lines on our stick too! HA! Keep in touch :)
Bon

Lori said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Domestic Diva said...

This brings back memories!! I so got sick of reading the lines.. I started buying the ones that said the word. I have a feeling that all your dreams will come true!!
xx me

Legally Pink and Green said...

Wow Congrats!!!! I look forward to the time (in the distant future of course) when I can see those two lines.

xoxoxox