I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend! We sure did. We drove up to Knoxville to visit with the hub's family for a couple of days. A great weekend filled with food and family! We got back mid-day yesterday and I haven't left the house since! I've been in PJ pants from minute #1, getting the rest of our Christmas decorations up (inside anyway) and now I'm making a mess of it getting all the gifts wrapped...
I'm really hoping I can get it all done today so I can truly have it all marked off my to-do list before December arrives on Wednesday. I got a good chunk of our Christmas cards signed and addressed while on the road this weekend, but still have a ways to go with those. Otherwise, I'm ready for you, Christmas!
So in other news, you may've already caught my tweets from earlier this week, but it looks like this first IVF cycle is a bust. We tested Wednesday night, and then like a million times more over the weekend, and all were negative. I realize it's still "early" - and yes, my blood test is still on for tomorrow a.m. and anything's possible - but I'm pretty darn sure we have our answer here. It was definitely a bummer... it's just hard to go through all of that intensity and come out empty-handed. Or empty uterus, I guess. I suppose dot didn't find it so homey there and left the building. Sorry, dot... we tried! But the good thing is, we are NOT empty-handed here. We have at least 14 frozens waiting for us, which we are so grateful for - and certainly now!
I did not *expect* to get the job done on the first try but oh, we were so hopeful. I just prayed for peace, as I always do, before taking that first test Wednesday night. I didn't pray for a positive, I just prayed for peace. And I was fine. Disappointed, yes, but OK. That is until we ran by my parents' house Thanksgiving morning to drop off Belly before heading out of town... we had to tell them the news. I couldn't get it out of my mouth. Totally did not foresee this happening as I had been completely fine talking about it with the hub since the night before. But when I get around other family, especially my parents who are so invested (literally) in this, I remember there are others I'm disappointing here. And I KNOW they're not disappointed in me - of course not. But it's hard not to feel like you keep letting the wannabe-dad and wannabe-grandparents down. So anyway, I went to the bathroom while over there and as I was washing my hands, I just lost it. It was the first time I let myself cry over it and I was a blubbering fool.
Luckily, the hub managed to tell my parents about our negative pee stick while I was in the bathroom, so they knew why I was such a mess when I came out. So yeah, I had my good cry on Thanksgiving morning. But tears aside, you must know we truly are so grateful for the little babes on ice that await us. While going through this mess, I've connected with other IVF'ers all over the world via Twitter. It's amazing how widely people's results vary. It has become VERY clear that we are so, so blessed to have any frozens at all, not to mention 14+! My ovaries seriously kick ass. We just need to get my uterus in gear.
But again, thank you all so much for following along on this journey and encouraging me with every step! After my results tomorrow, I'm sure we'll get word on next steps. I'm guessing they'll have me sit out one cycle to let the meds get out of my system before gearing up for a frozen cycle in January. And OH, please let that frozen cycle work because I don't think I can handle doing a fresh cycle during tax season! I might die, get fired, or both! But hey, whatever we have to do - if the frozen cycle blows and we have to wait till April to start again, so be it. I just have to keep reminding myself: God's timing is perfect. Because it is. I know he's not making us wait without reason. (Just wish I freaking knew the reason!)
Alright, y'all... gotta get back to wrapping! And we're going to make some chili, so I've gotta get that going soon. Enjoy what's left of the weekend! I know I'm gonna! I'll let you all know what we find out from the doctor tomorrow...
Stripped Bare Saturday
7 hours ago