Totally not complaining here, but I gotta say I am OVER this feeling like crud stuff. I moan and groan all day and night like a 95 year old. I get out of breath doing anything, even eating. The nausea seems harder to tackle lately. And if I could spend my whole day in bed, I totally would. It's all good - I know my body's working hard to bake a human. It's just tough feeling so worthless all the time. But you all keep telling me this will pass soon, so I'm definitely hanging in there and hoping you're right! I seriously feel for those pregnant with #2, #3, and so on... how do you do this with a toddler pulling at you all day? I have no idea!!! I only have to worry about me and I'm having a rough time with it... geez.
But again, no complaints... just stating, for the record, that I feel like shit. But if that's what it takes, I'll take it!
We've got our 10 week ultrasound on Friday and then I'll be officially released to my OB! Our first appointment is scheduled with her on Monday, July 11th. She had the exact same wonky uterus issues I did (and Dr. T also did her surgery years ago), so I know she will be thrilled to see me in there knocked up finally.
Alright... off to do some more groaning. I have lots of great bloggy topics floating in my head, but no energy or motivation to do any of them right now. Cut me some slack for the next few weeks, OK? Then maybe I'll get interesting again.
We had another ultrasound this morning! Everything is right on schedule and measuring 8w2d. And we got to HEAR the heartbeat this time! So cool... BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM. And we could even see the little nut moving around some. The baby is about the size of (and looks like) a gummy bear... he/she measured 1.88cm long today. Apparently the head is on the right side in this picture (so they say). Wow, so grateful.
Dr. T thinks this one's a keeper. I do too, but shoot - you just never know. We're still a LONG way from holding a baby in our arms, but so far so good! My miscarriage rate dropped to less than 5% today - that was great to hear. And Dr. T is continuing to slowly back me off my meds. The best news? I now only have to do the nasty PIO shots every other day! Hallelujah - some much needed reprieve for my bum. I'm also cutting the Estrace (estrogen) back to one dose a day (rather than two). That's a welcome change, too.
We go back for one more ultrasound with Dr. T next Friday and then I'll officially be released to my OB! I'm excited to move forward, but I gotta say it's going to be bitter sweet... I love my RBA team - they've been fighting this battle with us for over 4 years. I don't know what it's going to be like being thrown into the pool with all the normal fertiles!
The hub asked me yesterday if I'm no longer bothered by pregnant people, now that we're pregnant. No, I still do a mental eye-roll when I see a big belly. Because chances are they fell into their husband's lap one afternoon and turned up pregnant. Does that ever go away? Yeah, probably not. And when do I get to relax and enjoy all this? I am excited, don't get me wrong. But for the most part, I would describe myself as void of emotion right now over all this. I'm not fearful, but I think I'm heavily guarded. Sadly, years of infertility make pregnancy rather terrifying. It's hard to just completely let go and be joyful. And I also think there's a lot of disbelief... like when will it seem real? When I can feel the baby? It's such an exciting thing, and overall I think I'm handling it well, but the unknown is so scary. It all makes me think of one of Drew Barrymore's quotes in Never Been Kissed...
"...for one moment you get this amazing gift and you want to laugh and you want to cry because you feel so lucky that you found it, and so scared that it will go away at the same time."
So I guess kids suck the life out of you from day one, huh? Seriously, this kid is taking every bit of energy I have, including my will to do anything productive. Which is why I haven't been on here much lately. I seriously just have no desire to do anything but sleep. Isn't that awful? I know the rest is important, so believe me, I take it when I can get it. I basically sleep through my weekends here lately.
I'll get up at my normal time on a Saturday (7:30 or so), make some breakfast (whatever I can tolerate) and feed the dogs, and then take a nap. I'll get up later and fold a load of laundry. Take another nap. Fold another load. Take another nap. And then all of a sudden it's 8pm. What? Yeah, that's what my weekends look like. Thrilling!!!
I really need to go to the grocery but have only managed short trips here and there. I've got to do a full blown grocery run this weekend though. I've just got to. But that's the other thing... it's not just being sleepy and fatigued - it's like you seriously don't CARE about getting anything done. Which is so unlike me. And it frustrates me, but it is what it is. I suppose I can manage a few weeks of laziness!
Food is still not all that appealing, though I have had a few cravings. All healthy stuff - pizza, ice cream, and donuts. Awesome. Why can't I crave tofu and spinach? I ordered a Papa John's pizza Saturday at lunch and it was seriously the best thing I've ever eaten. I kept talking about it for hours. Wasn't that pizza so good? OMG that pizza was just the best! Seriously, how GOOD was that pizza? (Uh, yeah, obviously I fell off my Moo Goo train.)
And we made pizza at home last night. Seriously, pizza is so dang good. Now, I am trying to eat well, so I decided to stick with my calorie counting and good eats during the week and then let loose on the weekends. So that's pretty much my rule for myself. I'm saving the indulgences for the weekends. That way I still get to have them, but I won't become a blimp in three weeks time.
Other than the exhaustion, nausea, and love/hate relationship with food right now, I am doing great. Eager to get to ultrasound #2 a week from today to see our little gummy bear. Then we'll have one more ultrasound with Dr. T at 10 weeks before I'm released from RBA! I already have my 11 week appointment set up with my normal OB, so we are good to go. Each week seems to pass by slowly, but looking back it feels like it's all gone pretty fast! This is just the longest stretch we've gone between appointments thus far... so I'm definitely ready to move forward!
About to wrap up the 8th week here in a couple of days. Our little life-sucking alien looks something like this... Baby is growing like mad, putting on about a millimeter every day and continuing to straighten out in the trunk. Though you can't feel it yet, baby is moving those little arms, legs, and (now only slightly) webbed fingers and toes like crazy. [thebump.com]
Absolutely exhausted from two full days of CPE on the other side of the planet (i.e. the Cobb Galleria). I managed to stay awake, but barely. And I learned that a 1.5 hour commute back home with a sore bum is NOT fun. Grateful for my normal 15 minute ride!
Anyway... today we reached 7 weeks! Nausea is in full effect. No vomiting (yet), but definitely feeling nice and crappy. Never been so happy to feel like poop! So blessed to still be on this ride...
OK, please excuse me while I go take a nap. Hope you all have fantastic weekends!
We've got a beautiful SINGLE munchkin with a sweet beating heart! So cool to see the little boom-boom-boom on screen. Truly magical to see that this morning! I will add better pics to this post later when I can get on blogger, but hopefully this little attachment pic comes through OK for now (I'm posting via email).
Dr. T said everything looks perfect! Our little one nestled in to a perfect spot and set up camp, measuring right at 6w1d, give or take. Although having twins would be cool, I must say Dr. T and I both were relieved to see just one. I am high-risk as it is, and carrying two would be rough on me. It's rough on anyone, but for me it'd be even more concerning. Dr. T also confirmed that we'll do a C-section - he's guessing at 38 or 39 weeks. They will not want me going into to labor for fear of my wonky uterus rupturing, so I will be watched very closely. (Fine by me!) He will continue to see me through week 10 and then I'll see my normal OB at around 11 weeks. Wow... where all the normal fertile people go! He thinks I'll also see high-risk doctors alongside my OB. (Again, fine by me!) I'm supposed to go ahead and contact my OB to let her know what's going on and to get that first appointment set up.
I've still got to do the progesterone shots - which I knew I would have to, no big. He gave me the option of switching to the vaginal pills if my bum couldn't take it anymore, but I said no - let's just stick with it. So the sore bum continues... He is, however, backing me off the Estrace little by little. I've been doing 2mg 3x a day, and now I'm dropping that to 2x a day. But the best news today was just the fact that we made it past such a HUGE hurdle. Seeing that heartbeat was a big, big step. He said our miscarriage rate dropped dramatically after seeing that... now to less than 10% (whereas we were somewhere around 30% before). So that is most definitely encouraging! There are never any guarantees, at any stage, but we are continuing to make real progress here and we are thrilled!
Due date (which I already calculated, duh) is January 26th. But assuming they'll take me early, I guess we're looking at mid-January! Take that, tax season! Ha!
Thanks AGAIN for all the continued prayers and your encouraging comments and tweets! Love them all!!! We go back again on Tuesday the 21st for another ultrasound. Yep, another 2ww...
...is almost over, but that's OK because we have our first ultrasound in the morning! I've been totally relaxed and calm about all this since last Tuesday. Which is really refreshing given that I was a bit of a basket case last weekend. But yeah, we have our first ultrasound tomorrow at 8am and we'll see my doctor to discuss the results. I'm sure I'll be a little anxious going into it, but right now I'm just excited. I can't believe we've made it this far! It's been a loooooong two weeks leading up to this point.
We're now in the 7th week (6w2d today)...
Your embryo makes great strides in size this week, growing to between 0.44 inches and 0.52 inches from crown to rump by the end of the week, or about the size of a small raspberry. Leg buds are starting to look like short fins, and hands and feet have a digital plate where fingers and toes will develop. The heart and lungs are becoming more developed, as are the eyes and nostrils, intestines and appendix. By now the brain and spinal cord are growing from the neural tube [webmd.com].
Looks like a little alien doesn't it? Growing like a weed. I will get news up here on the ultrasound as soon as I can! Big prayers that everything is developing as it should be and where it should be. And we should be able to tell if there's one or two little peas in there! Again, I'll be seriously surprised if there's more than one, but you never know.
So I actually wore a pair of maternity shorts today. There's no chance in hell of me getting into any of my other shorts right now, so I broke down and got a pair at Old Navy this weekend with a nice elastic waistband since it's so dang hot. They're really cute and comfortable on my pooch...
Another random purchase we made this weekend? Shift your attention from babies to dogs for a minute here. Have y'all heard of these Thundershirts?
A friend introduced them to us last night and we were so intrigued. They're really affordable, so we didn't think twice about giving these a try on our dogs. Our two have lots of um... "behaviors" that these thundershirts claim to help correct. We'll see. I'll definitely let y'all know how they work out. We ordered them today off of Amazon. You have to watch the video on the main website though - it's hilarious. You'd think they gave the dog a tranquilizer.
This weekend in general was pretty low key, though we managed to squeeze a lot in. My sweet friend, Lucky, and her hubby had a going-away bash. She's an army wife now and they are leaving Atlanta for the west coast on their first of many moves/adventures. I'm SO sad to see her go, but we're all thrilled for them too. It's an exciting move! I also met some girlfriends today to see Bridesmaids for a second time. Hilarious, again. And the hub recently got a bug to do some painting in the house, so we made a trip to Home Depot this afternoon and got all kinds of paint supplies. He made good progress today and I did a good job of napping and occasionally pointing while he worked.
Really just staying awake this weekend was a major accomplishment. The fatigue during these early weeks is no joke. Which reminds me, I need to go to bed...
Oh and P.S. - I got promoted to manager this past week at work! Ordinarily I would've made a big to-do out of that when it happened but it kinda took me by surprise the day it was announced and honestly, my mind's just been elsewhere lately! Though, I am very thrilled about the promotion and my mom will be happy that I finally mentioned it on here! ;-)
Woot! I wasn't too anxious about getting today's numbers, but still - huge sigh of relief afterward! Definitely more at ease today than I was on Tuesday. Now I'm just waiting for Dr. T's assistant to call me back to schedule the ultrasound next week. Fingers crossed for Monday!!! I'm dying to see this babe on screen! (Or babes?)
Grateful, again, to make it this far. Who knows what tomorrow brings, but wow - what progress! Hope you all have a fabulous weekend! I'm off to enjoy the afternoon with my sweet friend, Pam. Stay cool, fellow Atlantans... it's HOT out there!
Well, I made my first *official* purchase today of a maternity item. OK please, that's a total lie because y'all know I have a closet full of maternity clothes that have been collecting dust for years...
And that's after purging my collection and selling off a good bit of it! I know... my obsession with maternity wear is seriously ridiculous. But for real, none of my pants fit right now and I've been holding them together with either hairbands or binder clips. So this is my first official purchase out of true necessity rather than fantasy. Behold, the bella band!
Can't wait till it arrives so I can breathe a little better! I know my pooch is mostly due to my meds (good ole IVF bloat), but does the reason really matter when you can't button your pants?!
I'm a Georgia Bulldog! I met my husband at UGA in Geology 110 and the rest is history.
I'm a CPA, working as a tax professional at a local firm. But I'm also very creative and artistic. I use both sides of my brain.
I'm a Christian and I like to talk about God stuff.
My husband and I are smack dab in the middle of working our way out of debt. We drive old cars and brown bag it.
I'm a huge Dave Ramsey fan, so if you don't like him, I'll probably annoy you.
I love to talk about money and I love helping people with money problems. I'm working towards becoming a personal financial counselor/mentor through our church.
We have two dogs, Belly - an 11yr old border collie mix, and Gertie - a 6yr old lab/pit mix. They're our little loves!
We are members of Buckhead Church and volunteer as 2-to-1 mentors (the church's premarital program).
My husband and I started TTC our first child in November 2005. After a long battle, we finally gave birth to our son, Samuel Nolen, in January 2012!
I want to write a book on my struggles with infertility. And I talk a lot about our journey on this blog, but in no way do I let my infertility define me. This is not an infertility blog; I just want to be an encouragement to others fighting the good fight!
I absolutely love life and wouldn't trade our journey for the world. The struggles we have faced have made me the person I am today.